The Game of Never-Knowing

19 Nov

Woah. How long has it been since my last post? Sorry for leaving you in the dark for too long. Unfortunately, this post still does not herald the return of the writing muse; I have around 4 more months of this term left before I (hopefully) graduate. Then, I still have to take board exams after.

Aah, but it’s always a pleasure to come back here and lurk around others’ sites, drinking in all the literature I can before I go back to the reality of internship. So please, please, I beg for a little more patience. I promised to never abandon this blog and I stand by my word. I hope to be with all of you soon and I’ll come back as soon as I’m able to do so.

——

For the friend who never knew of heartbreak until it made her its victim

——

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hate you for making me consider the possibility.
I hate you because I almost gave my heart to you and you had the gall to ask for it when there are other hearts in your trophy room.
I hate you because you exploited my weakness – even when I’m sure you never even knew.
I hate you because you made my mistrust run deeper, even as my nature is as trusting as it can get.
I hate you for making me suffer the paradox that is ideal and real.

I don’t care what you think, if you felt that what you were doing is okay. It’s not, at least by the standards of my heart it isn’t.

We might have had the possibility. But there’s no use thinking about a road that never existed in the first place.

No, I don’t hate you. But I wish I did.

 

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One Response to “The Game of Never-Knowing”

  1. sheilarosebelmonte January 11, 2012 at 8:37 am #

    ditto. i am actually hating someone right now for doing the same thing, for being uncaring of my feelings and only harvested his own benefits. and when i had to let go, he only said it’s up to me. haha! but then i decided to forgive, so im working on it. i just count my blessings because it did not continue – he’d give me millions of heartbreaks aside from the several heartbreaks he already gave me in 2 months time.

    God will make His way, really, and I am glad.

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